We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.
Where is the blog?
Keeping a blog going is hard work. Sometimes I feel like I’ve run out of ideas, and I have nothing to say. I don’t want to post a blog just to post a blog. Our hope has always been that these posts would be little bits of encouragement. I don’t intend to post something unless it holds some meaning for me. And recently blogging dropped in its priority, but also I couldn’t find the words. I tried to write, but it seemed forced and not exactly authentic. I didn’t like that feeling, hence no posts came. But I didn’t know how to get started again. So I’ll just be honest.
At the beginning of May, our youngest son started having seizures. Seizures are scary. When you aren’t expecting them, it’s even more terrifying. And whenever your child is hurting, that’s a terror that I cannot put into words. So we have had two months of doctor appointments and being on high-alert. Someone has to have their eyes on him at all times, until we can get things under control. That is stressful on top of scary. Not to mention the sleep we were lacking because we were unsure of what to do during the nights. Seizures are also scary because there isn’t always a clear reason as to why. As one doctor said, “The good news is there is no bad news,” (he meant no tumor or obvious brain damage), ” but the bad news is we don’t know the cause.”
So I was going through a new kind of emotional roller coaster these last few months. But I’ll tell you the one thing that always kept me grounded: The knowledge that God is the same as He was yesterday, and will be tomorrow. He is unchanging. That big BIG God who spoke the world into being, He’s still on his throne. He is unshakeable, unmovable. So when I felt like my world was falling apart, hearing those words- or even reminding myself that God is still God, allowed a peace to come in and settle over my heart.
Not saying it’s been easy. No, not at all. But there is peace in the middle of a storm. And we were sure lifted up in prayer, and I felt that.
So all this to say, I couldn’t write a blog post without sharing this- because to pretend like life was still okay and everything here was the same as always didn’t feel right. But at the same time, some kind of stoic-Norwegian and stubborn-German gene combination within me demands that I not share personal information like this, because it might be seen as seeking pity. And what a lie! We were made for community. I know that when we share our burdens and our hardships sometimes it lightens our load, sometimes our stories can encourage those who are going through similar trials. (Of course you can always fall off the other side of the horse, and be that person who shares every little misery with every person you meet… but there is a happy medium to be found… I’m still trying to get there.)
So now you know, where I’ve been. And let me tell you the good news- my little guy is doing fine. While seizures are scary to watch, they don’t usually have any long term or lasting effects. (Thank you, Jesus!) So he is still one tough little kid, who is running around with his big brother and sister. He’s learning more everyday, and running faster, and growing bigger. And, like in ALL things, God pulls good out of these situations*. We have a new appreciation for just an average day, we recognize what a blessing that is! When we have worried or wondered if what we are doing is the right thing, it seems like someone has come along or something has happened to give us peace or steer us in the right direction. I could go on and on, but this post has gotten long enough for now.
We are well! And we thank you for your prayers and concern.
Lord, I thank you so much for how you care for us. I thank you for the community of friends and family we have around us. I thank you that prayer is powerful and brings goodness to our lives and our hearts. I thank you that you know us, you hear us, you see us. Even when we feel lost, confused, or afraid, You are still there with us. I thank you for your Word that promises that you are pulling good out of the bad, that you are rearranging the pieces of our life into a beautiful pattern that we cannot begin to comprehend in this lifetime. I again proclaim that I trust You! In Jesus name, Amen!
*And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28